An open letter on emotional maturity, breaking up, and manipulation
Dear you,
A funny thing happens when one is about to become a parent. Your selfishness goes out the window, and you come to realize that the only thing that matters is the baby growing (Hopefully! You don't look very pregnant to me) inside of you. Everything else is just background noise, and you quickly learn where your energies and focus are needed.
I guess there are exceptions to every rule, and the fact that you're getting closer and closer to your due date and yet you're still acting like you're in the 11th grade completely baffles my mind. You are without a doubt the most manipulative, conniving, self centered person I have ever had the displeasure of either knowing or hearing about. What is going through your mind, honestly? Does it make ANY sense to continue to ignore your child's father just because you're not getting your way?? To not have ONE discussion regarding the future care of that baby?
There has been so much I have wanted to say for so long, but out of respect for the person I love, I just let it go. But you know, I don't feel like there's any reason to keep my thoughts to myself anymore.
You have handled this entire situation without one ounce of maturity or grace. You have acted like spoiled, rotten, bratty child from the moment things didn't go your way. I don't understand how you, for so long, could claim you wanted a divorce, and yet because it's not on *your* terms, you become petulant. It is almost comical, the way you interact with people, how controlling and manipulative you are.
Before I was even in the picture, from what I can gather, you had some serious issues with putting up fronts, being in charge, and beating people down. How you have managed to go this long in life without someone hitting your face in with a frying pan is a complete mystery to me. Were you really that surprised that he met someone else? That he met someone who allows him to be himself, who doesn't control ANY aspect of his life? Who wants him to GENUINELY be happy? Does it really surprise you that you are not the person he wants to spend his life with, given the way you have talked to and treated him? You think everyone is blind, but the real you shines through, loud and clear.
The first thing that completely shocked me was you going into EVERY. SINGLE. INTERNET. ACCOUNT. of his and taking it upon yourself to message people with your insane diatribe. The audacity and balls that took...
Then, to try and convince me to use some power you believed I had over him to make him come back to you, to do what YOU wanted him to do, was just sweet icing on the crazy cake.
You change the locks on a house HE is paying for, deciding what YOU think he should and shouldn't have, allowing him NO access, though expecting his paycheck to cover it. I realize his name is on the mortgage, but uh... don't you think the sale of the house, or putting it in your name solely, if you're intent on staying there, would be the most sensible thing to do?
Then, you manipulate his family members into taking your side, without being completely honest, and being incredibly hurtful to the person you supposedly loved for so long. You lie and tell me you have no support system, when that is clearly not the case. Speaking of your support system, how has no one sat you down, looked you in the eyes and said, "you are going about this completely the wrong way, grow up and deal, work it out, and do what is best for your CHILD"??
You come to his work just to yell at him in the parking lot.
You somehow get information about when he has a dr's appointment so you can not only yell at him some more (great communication skills, by the way) IN THE PARKING LOT like a sane, well adjusted adult, but you throw his dog at him like it's a piece of trash, when he very plainly told you he was working on a place to home it.
Speaking of which! You can't even take care of a DOG, how do you think you're going to take care of a CHILD????
Ahem... where was I? Oh yes, you being completely bat-shit.
You spend the next few months refusing to allow him to take part of this pregnancy, though you know damn well he wants to be there, and instead you don't talk to him or tell him a single thing that is going on. And why? Because YOU didn't get your way? Because YOU are unable to manipulate the situation to better suit YOUR needs?
And then tonight, you show up at his place of work to give him more items that, for some random reason, you now feel he has the right to have? And you don't say ONE word to him? What was the point of even going? To upset him?? You know as well as I do how even tempered he is, and all you succeeded in doing was taking him out of work for a few minutes.
I know that the way he chose to do things may not have been the best, and that there were better ways of going about it. He knows this too, and he never meant to hurt you. I know that you have every right to be upset, and hurt, and angry. But at some point, say... before the baby is born... you are going to have to get over yourself and start accepting that he has chosen a life that is not with you. And THEN you need to start behaving like an adult, a PARENT, no less, and figure out how the two of you are going to raise that baby. Because in the end, all of your bullshit means nothing, all of Michael's "mistakes" mean nothing, the only thing that will matter is that child. You need to start acting that way, because as it stands, I feel awfully sorry for any baby that is going to be raised by someone who continues to act the way you do.
I know you love your little lifetime dramas and your soap story lines, but this is real life. And in real life people pick up the pieces and act accordingly. I'm sorry that he doesn't love you. I'm sorry that you BEAT THAT LOVE RIGHT OUT OF HIM. I'm sorry that he hasn't chosen to be with you. But he never once chose NOT to be there for that baby, and you have to stop making that choice for him. Because soon, lawyers and courts will be involved, and you will have little say in the matter. He is an amazing person, with so much love to give to that child, and he wants nothing more than to be able to do that. Why punish your child just to punish him??
I will never like or respect you, that much is clear. The beauty is, I don't have to. None of this is about me, and I know that. But it is about the person I am choosing to be with, and when your behavior affects him, it affects me as well. And so, because he will never say to you, "You are a completely bat-shit, manipulative, horrible person" I will do it instead. Because you really are all of those things, and how he was able to stand by it for so long I will never understand.
Grow up.
- Reese
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